My best ally, my worst enemy

Today I would like to talk and start talking about my relationship with cortisone. I could call him my best ally but also my worst enemy.

Since I was sick, the first thing they gave me in the hospital was the cortisone drips … I called them “bombs”, because they were giant bags, with a fairly powerful cortisone.

Then when I was discharged they gave me home therapy with deltacortene (a nonsense compared to hospital bombs). Slowly scaling tablets.

Then every time I went back to the hospital and I was sick it would start over. Last year, after my discharge instead of deltacortene they gave me, for several months, to do at home, a very powerful cortisone in drops.

Now cortisone is my best ally because in a rare autoimmune disease like mine you never know how I react to a drug. Here for me cortisone works. Maybe also because of the elephantine doses they gave me.

I don’t feel any pain. I do not feel my head bursting, the pain behind the brains that does not make me sleep or rest my head (in these conditions I was two and a half years, because no one had understood what I had).

But why then is cortisone my ally but also my worst enemy?

unwanted effects of cortisone. You become a balloon. So first the cortisone swells in the face and in the belly .. and then you are really a balloon. Also, to make it perfect, cortisone makes you hungry. Hungry for sweets, so you eat and get fat.

It is not about aesthetics and this article is not meant to be against anyone, everyone must be liked and accepted as they are.

With 15 kg more as I was last year I certainly do not accept myself. I’m not at these levels now. for several reasons.

First point the swelling is directly proportional to the quantity that is taken (today I take half a tablet of deltacortene which is almost nothing) and to the time for which it is taken. Furthermore, the cortisone explodes not immediately, but after a month or so. In fact, I spent a May / June in which I had regained the physical shape to arrive in July with swelling in the face and neck.

Also I spent last week on a “vacation” in Italy, I went home for 5 days and I think the lightest thing I ate was a pizza. Only then we took some pictures, I saw my face and I started to cry, secretly from everyone. A seedling is always needed every now and then.

Everyone says there is no comparison with last year, and I know this too, but I’m sick of the medicines, I’m sick of cortisone, I just want to be fine. Instead I’m worried here because that pain is returning, even if it is light and not incapacitating, but he is there.

My thoughts therefore turn to my ally, but also to my worst enemy. I mean, will I ever be able to get rid of cortisone?

new updates soon