In a perfect world

In a perfect world I would be thin, tall, beautiful and surely I wouldn’t be deaf.

In a perfect world there would be no bad things, no fog (who knows why I have it with fog, perhaps because it reminds me of Milan and therapy), suffering … in short, it would be a little like in the kingdom of Far Far Away from Shrek

Obviously the world is not perfect and I am not tall, nor thin and I am deaf. When you become deaf, or at least I think lost a sense of the five (my hearing went) in old age (and 40 is the new 20), you feel weird. At the beginning there is remorse, regret obviously anger … Then you understand that you are so deaf and deaf you remain (the cochlear implant helps) and therefore you must learn to live in this new situation.

As if there was a new me, always the same dazed mind, but with a different sensitivity. Example I noticed that my touch, as sense, has developed a lot in the last year as a deaf person, or it was always there but I paid less attention to it. The sight, on the other hand, is not collaborative … without the glasses I don’t see anything.

Back to the perfect fake world, I had my annual ear check yesterday. And I was in Milan. Last year, on the same day, that is December 22, I was hospitalized urgently because meningitis was “devouring” me. And no one knew it was meningitis yet, huh.

I’m fine now, I’m thinking about how I could invent myself again, in a new city. I’m seriously thinking about trying this or that for two months, see if some of my hobbies (one in particular) could become something more.

For now I’m taking back myself in the true sense of the word. The cortisone has been eliminated for a month, slowly perhaps I will be able to deflate again. The hair, even if weak from the therapies, is growing (with the hair, however, mine is a losing battle).

In a perfect world I would have decorated this house as if there was no tomorrow. Instead I just prepared boxes and cartons, clothes and shoes for a move and for who knows what.

My bubble is always there, it is there to protect me but also to make me feel, a little muffled perhaps but always feel.

In a perfect world … well, mine is getting perfect.