I don’t Know if it is shyness

Today I fixed, indeed updated the Instagram account, for what concerns the basic information. In short, I have not been sick for two years, but three. I live with a very rare autoimmune disease, which took my hearing away. A maintenance therapy of at least five years.

So what does shyness have to do with it?

Let’s start with order. The effects of my illness, in short, my crazy immune system create very strong and chronic pains in my head. Now I’m under control for maintenance therapy (the first one unfortunately didn’t work very well, so my doctors tried another one). It is a very subtle and delicate balance (I have experienced it with relapses) in which maintenance therapy, cortisone to decrease (after hospitalization) and initial therapy must merge.

Last week, after the cortisone escalation, the pains in my head had reappeared, I didn’t worry too much, but deep down there is always fear. Unfortunately now at the slightest headache, I immediately jump to attention as if she had reactivated.

It wasn’t like that … and today after a small change in the cortisone intake (the stop because I can’t take it anymore and it bothers me as well as inflating me like a balloon), I’m much better.

The last few days have been a little introspective, yesterday I found photos of the first surgery (October 2020), of the last brain biopsy (May 2021), of the cochlear implant (December 2020) … now I’m not ashamed of myself with bandages on my head, in a hospital bed full of drips and more, but then why do I hardly ever put a picture of me sick?

Out of fear? out of shyness? out of insecurity?

I would like to post videos on Instagram but I always think I’m not up to it, or what video I could ever make. in short, I don’t know if it’s shyness or not, for now it seems to me that I’m doing a lot of mental jerking and that’s it.

So from the next few days I will try to make videos … starting from one thing I’m trying my hand at and that is the kitchen. Now I also have a lot of time available then hearing is not so essential when cooking .. in short, taste is enough (and I talked about this in the previous article).

I’m seriously thinking about it … now I try, then my videos will suck at the ugly ones and nobody will queue them (and what can I do). So then returning to the question of whether or not there is shyness, I think it is a set of things.

Trying to do something new, the fear of failing, the shy … (then I cook, you see my hands, so maybe the only problem will be having a good manicure).

I have to start from the little things, from those things that make me feel good. and I also noticed that the page on the kitchen blog is quite empty … it needs to be remedied.

and no, it’s not shyness. Back straight and forward. Spine!