Give me a hammer!

Give me a hammer! … so went a fairly famous song. After this first bar, the song continued with the following question: “what do you want to do with it?”. Answer: “I want to give it to those who don’t like it!”.

Here we say that I spent some days in which I would have given it to my head in the hammer.

I realized today that it was enough time that I didn’t write on the blog … I don’t even know why! maybe I didn’t realize it. I didn’t realize the days went by … I looked at. 19 days !

I’ve been worried about the therapy, about the infusion (cyclophosmamide). I started the second cycle, of three. Two are missing.

one wonders why do you care? well .. because you feel bad after. I spent three days in bed, feeling sick, tired and bitter about my condition. It’s true, everything is done to heal … but then what?

Then it passes and one tries to feel good … or rather I trust in these medicines (even if they have a thousand contraindications that you do not read first).

However, in these awful days of sadness my hearing fluctuates. Well yes … it is very affected by the therapy, and therefore it fluctuates, with bomb tinnitus and then I feel less (I hear less ringing, in order to better convey the idea).

So let’s imagine the scene: me in bed, with nausea, tears and this fluctuating hearing … I hear every now and then BRUUU … BRUUUU … BRUUU. At first I give up thinking it’s nothing. Then I hear this awful sound again … so I start to cry, to scream in despair thinking that this time my ear is not floating at all but has just electrocuted.

My mum comes running, I explain what I feel and cry again …. answer: “look at the street and under your window there are workers with pneumatic hammers at work, because a pipe is broken”.

Well … faced with this answer I thought I was really sordamaldestra, in short, just me.

Give me a hammer! I throw it on my head directly by myself!