Fried green Tomatoes

Today at Borough market this “literally” waterfall of tomatoes.

Obviously the first thought went to the movie “fried green tomatoes ” … a wonderful movie. Dramatically direct but also blatantly irreverent. I loved it from the first time and I could always see it.

And after this vision my mental turns, my ruminations, or rather the mental saws, started.

In short, I saw the tomatoes and immediately I thought of summer, in my house, in the scorching heat (oh my God, this year there was also here, but it is not the same thing). The heat in Italy is sometimes so stifling that it takes you in its arms and doesn’t leave you for weeks, maybe months. Everything around is dry, the air only cools at night, that light breeze at five in the morning that wraps you for a while, and then leaves you in that hot sun where the only noise you hear is that of cicadas, because it’s too hot for anything else.

Then from there I thought that in the end I don’t want to be sick, but I am. I had meningitis that made me deaf, a rare, difficult to diagnose disease that “stole” three years from me to be diagnosed, and just as many if not more to keep under control. The me of five years ago, if she had even remotely imagined all this, I don’t know … maybe she would have continued to go shopping.

I thought that I no longer want to have hysterics like yesterday, in which I had an overreaction (this time the height of overreaction) with her husband. And I don’t even know why then I have these absurd reactions to something that happens.

I don’t want to be tied to a disease, which keeps me tied to itself and doesn’t make me do things, which leaves me no respite. I would like to be free, to escape, not to think about the medicines, the hospital, planning the holidays according to the check-ups and the exams and the therapies.

I would like to be free from all this, take a camper and wander around. In order not to have an appointment with the hospitals, in order not to have anxiety every time a report arrives, or from the sampling of ESR and PCR, it is necessary to understand how the therapy is proceeding.

I’m tired of this, maybe I should open a cafe too like Idgie and Ruth … (not really cooking fried green tomatoes like in the movie).

Or maybe it would be better to take a camper, get in and drive around, just to see the effect it does.

Here … these were my thoughts this morning in the space of ten minutes when I noticed the tomato stand, I associated fried green tomatoes, I took the photo and thought about what to do with my life as a sick person, after feeling guilty for the screams last night.

My Karma turned out not to be nice at all. My brain makes thoughts and speeches without a logical thread. My immune system went haywire.

This seems to me to be a realistic representation of thesordamaldestra of today. In the we the new phone that should help with subtitles even in phone calls. In short, somewhere I’ll have to leave to put the pieces back together.

Meanwhile, I bought the tomatoes.